


I Deserve It

by Lilluv



Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, COVID-19, Child Abuse, Domestic Violence, Everybody Lives, Found Family, Friendship, Gen, Homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:08:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26880406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilluv/pseuds/Lilluv
Summary: **MAJOR TW FOR DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND CHILD ABUSE**Alex has a secret. A big one. No, it's not that he's gay. He and all of his friends came out years ago. No, this secret is something much darker. This is a secret that no one can find out. Ever. Not even his closest friends.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 128





	I Deserve It

**Author's Note:**

> This story contains graphic depictions of child abuse towards Alex. So, this is your official trigger warning. Reader discretion is advised.  
> Also, Reggie, Luke, and Alex are all seventeen and alive in 2020 in this universe.  
> Happy Reading!

It was October 2020, the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic in America. Julie, Luke, Alex, and Reggie all just started going back to high school in person after a month of doing it online. It was really hard for all of them, but it hit Alex particularly hard because of his anxiety. It wasn't easy having such an unpredictable schedule while trying to keep the biggest secret of his life from his friends.

So, Sunset Curve, their band, set up practices three times a week for some normalcy. It helped all of them to have a normal-ish schedule and to have something to look forward to on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday afternoons.

They would rehearse in Julie's driveway outside of her garage, and they would wear masks while singing since that was considered a superspreader. But, as soon as rehearsal was over, they took them off since they were outside.

One day, Alex showed up a little late to practice, mask pulled up farther than normal on his face. It was almost covering his eyes. No one else really thought much about him being a little late, since Luke always showed up ten minutes late, anyway, despite the fact that he only lived a block away. Alex was thankful for the mask today. He didn't want anyone seeing what was on his face.

After the band finished practicing, they all took their masks off to drink some water. Alex just pushed his up his face a little bit.

"Here, Alex, drink something." Luke handed him a water bottle over his drums.

"No, thanks, I'm good." Alex waved it away.

Luke and Reggie exchanged a glance. "Come on, man. You have to drink something or you're going to hurt your throat after singing for so long."

Alex didn't respond, and the other three band members could tell something was wrong. They all had sympathetic yet concerned looks on their faces as they stood looking at Alex from the other side of his kit.

"Alex, you know you can tell us anything, right?" Julie asked.

Alex nodded, tears springing up in his eyes. As they fell down his face, he could feel his cheek start to burn from the mark.

_"You're just a useless waste of space who doesn't deserve to live in this house!" His dad exclaimed as Alex felt a sharp sting on his face._

"Please talk to us, Alex," Reggie begged, dragging Alex back to reality from the memory he felt trapped in.

Alex felt like he couldn't move, couldn't breathe. He was acutely aware of Luke walking around the drum kit and pulling his mask down to help him get some air. The gasp that came out of all three of his friend's mouths at the same time hit Alex like a truck.

"Alex, who did this to you?" Luke asked, gently running his fingers over the angry red mark on his cheek that was shaped exactly like a hand. It made Alex wince.

"No one," Alex mumbled, pushing Luke's hand away and looking down at the ground.

"Alex, please don't lie to us," Luke asked in a comforting voice, crouching down in front of Alex and holding his hands, drawing small circles on the backs with his thumbs. Alex saw Julie and Reggie come and sit down on either side of Luke. "Please, who did this to you?"

Alex choked back a sob. "My dad." He replied, barely able to get the words out.

"Why would he hit you?" Julie asked.

"H-he found a pride flag that I had stashed under my bed," Alex explained. "He called me a waste of space than slapped me."

They all sat in silence, comforting as best as they could without getting up in each other's faces, which was hard since all four of them were very touchy people and found comfort in human contact, which made this whole situation worse for Alex. Touch was his love language, and every kick, slap, and punch took that away from him even more.

"...This isn't the first time he's hit you, is it?" Luke said in a small voice. Alex nodded.

Alex slipped into all the memories of all the times his dad hit him.

_Alex had tears running down his face as his dad squeezed his arm so tight he left finger-sized bruises on his skin and screamed about how useless he was in his ear._

_He was begging his dad to stop as he smashed all of his drums while he was throwing insult after insult at him._

_He just laid on the floor and cried silently as his dad kicked him in the shin, praying for it to be over soon, all while his dad screamed that he deserved everything he got._

"-lex!" Reggie screamed, breaking him out of his trance. He could tell that they had been trying to get his attention for a long time. Alex flinched at the loud noise.

"Alex, why does he hit you?" Luke asked in a soft tone.

"Because I deserve it," Alex responded in a small tone. The constant tears running down his face were stinging his cheek more than ever, but he ignored it. He deserved all the pain he got.

"Alex, no," Julie said immediately. "You don't deserve any of this."

"When did this start happening?" Luke asked.

Alex took a deep, shaky breath. "The first time was when I came out. He... he said no son of his would be a... a..." Alex couldn't say it.

Alex looked up at his bandmates. They were all looking at him sadly, and he saw tears in all of their eyes, but he knew he needed to go on. "He punched me for the first time that day. Now every time I say or do anything that has anything to do with being gay, he just hits me... and I deserve it."

"Why do you think that?" Reggie asked, putting his hand over Luke's and Alex's. Julie did the same.

"Because I broke my family," Alex said, almost robotically, like he had said it on command a million times. The way he said it broke Luke, Julie, and Reggie. "If I wasn't... wasn't..." Alex really didn't want to say it. He hated that word. He hated that his dad made him call himself such an ugly word every time he saw him. "Then my mom wouldn't have left and I wouldn't be getting this punishment that I deserve."

They all just there for a moment, taking in what Alex had just said. No one could really get any words out, but they all just hugged Alex. They knew he needed it right now, social distancing be damned.

The four of them sat there for a long time, hugging and crying. They all needed it after Alex's confession.

Eventually, Luke pulled away, and Julie and Reggie followed suit.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Luke asked.

"I- I don't know, really," Alex responded. He was still crying, but he wasn't having such a hard time talking anymore. "I guess I just didn't want to burden you guys with my shit."

"Alex, you are not a burden," Julie interjected.

"We'll do anything for you, man," Reggie added. "We don't want you to have to suffer in silence."

Alex smiled a little at that and muttered a small "Thanks."

Now that the initial shock had passed, Luke was getting more and more pissed off. Why did Alex's dad think it was ok to hit him? Just looking at the red hand-shaped mark on Alex's cheek made Luke want to go down to his house and kill his dad with his bare hands.

"We have to get you out of that house." Luke decided, standing up.

"Luke, you don't have to-" Alex tried, but got cut off.

"Alex, your dad is hitting you. He slapped you so hard that he left a handprint on your cheek." Luke got loud, and Alex and Reggie both shrank into themselves. Between Alex always getting yelled at and Reggie's parents always fighting, neither handled yelling well.

"Luke, quiet down," Julie said at a normal volume. Luke realized his mistake and took a breath. "But I agree," Julie added. "Alex, you can stay here, in the spare room upstairs."

"I just need to get my stuff," Alex said, standing up.

"Hell no," Luke said, stopping Alex. "You're not going back to that house. Would your dad really let you leave if he knew you weren't coming back?"

"Probably not," Alex responded in a small voice.

"I'll go get your stuff. Is your dad home now?" Luke stated.

"No," Alex responded.

"I'll go too." Reggie jumped in.

Alex looked at each of his friends in turn and smiled. "Thank you so much for all of this."

"Anything for you, Alex." Julie smiled, hugging him.

"Yeah, you're family," Reggie added, and he and Reggie joined in and made it a group hug.

Once they pulled away, Reggie and Luke took Alex's house key and left to go grab Alex's things from his house, and Julie walked Alex up to the house to start getting him settled.

"Wait," Alex said as they started walking. "What if my dad tries to make me come back?"

"He won't. We won't let him." Julie replied simply in a low tone.

"But, legally, he has custody of me. I wouldn't have a choice." Alex pointed out.

Julie put her hand on his arm comfortingly. "Alex, you're only three months away from being eighteen. After your birthday, you'll be able to do whatever you want, go wherever you want." She took a breath. "And, if he tries to make you go back to his house, we'll fight him in court. there's no way we're letting you go back to him."

"Thanks, Julie," Alex smiled, and they continued walking.

Once they reached the door, Julie stopped. "Can you wait out here for a minute? My dad will want to know why I'm bringing someone inside the house."

"Sure," Alex responded.

She stood there for a moment, turned to the door, then turned back around to face Alex. "Is it ok if I tell him about... what's been happening? He'll probably want to know why we suddenly need to house a teenage boy."

Alex took a deep breath. "Yeah, ok." Julie turned to the door and walked inside.

After a few minutes, she came back out with her dad in tow.

"Hi, Mr. Molina." Alex waved.

"Alex, I'm so sorry about all of this." Julie's dad smiled sadly. "And if you're going to be staying here, you should call me Ray."

"Ok." Alex smiled and was invited into the house. Before going up the stairs, he turned to Ray and said, "Thank you so much for letting me stay here."

"It's really not a problem, Alex." Ray smiled.

Julie led him up to the spare bedroom, which was a small room painted a pale pink color with a full-sized bed in the middle of the room, and a dresser and a desk on either side.

"Is this ok?" Julie asked.

"This is perfect," Alex replied, sitting down on the soft bed with the white comforter.

Luke and Reggie ran into the bedroom with a few bags and hurled themselves onto the bed, dropping the bags on the floor.

"Oh my god." Alex laughed as they landed badly on the bed. They all laughed along with him.

"Why don't you unpack?" Julie suggested.

"Unpack?" Alex asked.

"Alex, this is your room now." Julie pointed out. "You can unpack and put stuff in the closet and dresser."

Alex looked dumbfounded for a moment, then smiled a little, then got to unpacking the clothes and other stuff that Reggie and Luke had packed for him. They got his favorite pink t-shirt, black jean jacket, his black snapback, his pink hoodie, and...

"You guys got my pride flag?" Alex asked, looking up at his friends.

"Of course, bro," Luke said, putting his hand on Alex's shoulder from where he was laying on the bed. "Reggie had his bi flag and I have my pan flag hanging in our rooms. We figured you'd want yours, too."

"I can help you hang it if you want?" Julie suggested, and Alex smiled and nodded. She left the room.

Alex bought his pride flag at a store in LA and hid it from his dad. When he came out about a year before, well, things didn't exactly end well. Alex had the fractured rib and the absent mother to prove it. He's pretty sure it didn't heal right because every time he twists a certain way it hurts.

Julie came back into the room with two pushpins, pulling Alex out of his memories.

"Where do you want to hang it?" Julie asked, and Alex pointed to the blank spot on the wall behind the, _his,_ bed. Julie and Alex hung it together, and he started to feel tears run down his face for what felt like the millionth time that day. Except these weren't sad tears or angry tears. These were happy tears.

**Author's Note:**

> If you or someone you know is trapped in a domestic violence situation, call the hotline 800-799-7233 for help.  
> This story was a ride to write. When I first came up with the idea and started writing, I had no idea that it was going to get this graphic. Anyway, for those of you who made it to the end, thank you so much for reading. Stay safe.  
> Kisses,  
> Lilluv


End file.
